You Are Enough – BYU-I Scroll
We have all struggled with the feeling that we were not up to the task. If you’re like me, you often hold yourself to unrealistic standards.
Social media and popular trends can spark a desire to be slimmer, richer, more athletic, or more popular. Or maybe you feel like you’re inadequate about where you are in life or what you’ve accomplished.
Whatever you feel, you are not alone. Although many people hide it well, sometimes we all suffer from a feeling of inadequacy.
For me, loving myself has been a battle of a lifetime. I have good days and bad days. So, as someone who is still learning to love themselves, here are some tips that have strengthened and informed my perspective.
Spend time with people who uplift you.
Whenever I put myself down in any way, my husband looks at me and says, “Don’t talk about my wife like that.” It still leaves me speechless.
It teaches me that my self-deprecating words don’t hurt me – they hurt my loved ones too.
The people who really love you aren’t there to judge you. They don’t dwell on your minor flaws or past mistakes like you sometimes do. They see you for who you are and who you can become.
The people we spend our time with greatly influence our lives. This is why it is important to choose our friends wisely.
Devote your time to people who help you love yourself, to people who listen to you, serve you, encourage you and actively support you.
If you have to change yourself to be accepted by someone, it’s not worth it. Your identity is never worth compromising. You are enough.
Dr Seuss said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t matter, and those who matter don’t.”
Challenge your negative thoughts.
It’s easy to criticize ourselves the moment we stumble or stumble. But, if we are not careful, this self-criticism can develop into a never-ending cycle of shame and guilt.
What would you do if someone you loved belittled themselves? I imagine you would offer them encouragement and positivity. Do the same for yourself. You deserve this love and positivity just as much as they do.
Peter McWilliams, a self-help author, said, “For many, negative thinking is a habit that over time becomes addictive.”
When you have negative thoughts, ask yourself the following questions: Why am I thinking this? Where does this thought come from? Map your thinking.
This will help uncover the root causes of your negative thoughts and identify potential triggers. Knowing the causes and triggers will help you become more aware and control your thoughts.
Another way to challenge negative thoughts is to actively counter them with positive thoughts. Even a single positive thought is powerful enough to offset a chain of negativity.
Willie Nelson, an American musician, said, “Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you start to have positive results.”
Stop comparing yourself to others.
Life is not a competition. No one is keeping the score and neither should you.
Amy Morin, psychotherapist and bestselling author, said, “The one person you should try to be better than you were yesterday.
All you have to do is ask yourself, “Am I better than yesterday?” If the answer is yes, celebrate your progress and growth. If the answer is no, be patient with yourself and keep trying.
Thanks to social media, we are constantly bombarded with snapshots of the lives of our friends. As we go through their posts it can seem like their life is perfect. What we cannot see, however, are their struggles and insecurities. We don’t see the big picture.
This is why comparing ourselves to what we see on social media is unrealistic and unsuccessful.
We are each at different stages of life, and we each have unique talents to offer.
Writer Amy Larson said, “The comparison will rob you of power, grace and influence. Each person is unique. So how can you compare the unique to the unique? You can not. And when you try, you destroy your shine.
Think about the good and live the present.
Gratitude is one of the quickest routes to happiness and love.
Denis Waitley, speaker and motivational writer, said: “Happiness cannot be traveled, possessed, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. “
If you tell yourself that happiness will only come once you get married, graduate, lose weight, move out, earn more money, etc., then you are holding back. This method of thinking stifles your happiness and obscures the ability to love yourself.
Do not wait until you have made your dreams come true to love and be proud of who you are today. You are enough today and every day.
Another way to truly live in the present is to stop dwelling on the past.
The past will haunt us if we allow mistakes or past events to freeze our progress and etch into our identities. But you are not your mistakes.
Andrea Dykstra, author and storyteller, said: “In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that have shaped you.”
The past – though difficult and imperfect – has made you who you are today. Learn from it and be grateful for it. Don’t let it consume you or cripple you.
Take care of yourself
Foreign service is essential, but you can’t support others if you sink.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish.
Jack Kornfield, an American author, said: “If your compassion does not include you, it is incomplete.”
Treat your body, mind and spirit with gentle care.
Make healthy choices, physically and emotionally. Take walks, take breaks, hang out with loved ones, exercise, laugh a little, and do things that make you happy.
Work hard, but also find time to relax and rejuvenate.
Pass it on
Burn the words “you are enough” on your heart. They will always be true, even when it’s hard to believe them.
Be patient with yourself; progress and growth take time. We’re all below perfection in this life, and that’s okay.
I still have an abundance of growth and learning ahead of me. It is heartwarming to know that I am not alone on this journey. As you strive to engrave these three words in your heart, don’t forget to help others do the same.